Progressive Field?

I prefer "Regressive Field" because watching the Indians this year makes me assume the fetal position

3

that's the number of batting title-eligible Cleveland Indians batting .203 or below.

Speaking of single digit numbers, how about this one: 4

Give up? It's CC's average game score over his past two starts. His 2 and 6 rank his past two starts as the 16th worst and SECOND WORST BY A TRIBE STARTER SINCE THEY BEGAN KEEPING TRACK IN 1957.

The worst evar

Here's another: 2.56

No, it's not the balance in Kaz Tadano's bank account before he began his film career, nor Albert Belle's blood alcohol level. It's CC's WHIP! He's got a shot at WHIPPING his weight if he can just get it up a bit in his next start.

Circumcision Yahweh

Angel Pagan has got to be the HOTTEST STAR in recent memory whose name contains references to two different religions. Not since Bris Lord has major league baseball seen such polytheism from one man.

Speaking of Bris Lord, he has got to have one of the best full names ever. Bristol Robotham Lord, who spent most of his career as a 4th outfielder for the old Philadelphia A's in the 19-oughts and teens, clouted 13 home runs over the course of 7 seasons. I mean, his middle name contains two of my favorite things, robots and ham.

RIP Bris

Stat of the night - 4/2/08

How about those Tigers? The most potent lineup in the league? A threat to score a thousand runs?

They managed 3 hits tonight. Well, I shouldn't say "they". Hitters #2-8 were dominated. But at least give credit to Edgar Renteria for getting the job done as leadoff hitter, going 3-4, but getting stranded each time.

Honorable mentions go to:

• Frankie Rodriguez. In an inning, he walked one and struck out one - in 10 pitches, 5 strikes. What pitch economy. Why throw a strike when you're just going to walk the guy? Why waste a pitch on the way to a K? It's all or nothing with Frankie.
  
• Luis Vizcaino. Allowing 4 runs in .1 innings, for the leagues first triple digit ERA.

Addendum to the name game:
Rick VandenHurk must own the record for most letters before the 2nd capitalized letter.

Weird names

Captain Zero of the Week, Weird Name Division

PIT: Gorzelanny (0-0, 0.00 ERA)

ATL: Jurrjens (0-0, 0.00 ERA)

Have you seen two guys with weirder names ever face each other?

Captain Zero of the Week, Goofy Name Division

This week, the honour goes to Giants shortstop Brian Bocock. His surname selection procedure surely went something like this:

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Brian Bocock's great-great-great grandfather, Arvid Bocock

a chicken

Ancestor: "Hmm, 'tis time to change the family name...but, to what...? I believe I will stick my head out the window and consult the first living being I see." [does so] Hey you there, chicken, to what should we change our surname?

Chicken: "B'COOOOOOOOOCK!"

Ancestor: "Thank you, wise poultry. Your visions are sage well beyond your years."